Sunday, May 25, 2014

Are You Afraid of Your Clothes?

Hear me out. I know you don't shrink at the sight of your closet, like, with fear. I realize that clothing is not like, say, spiders (I can barely type that word, those things freak me out so much). But I'm amazed by the plethora of posts out there about culling one's wardrobe. Secretly, if you've been blogging/reading the blogs as long as I have (almost 7 years), those posts are all popular, all the time. They're not having a special moment.

Different blogs take a different tack: There's the professional sewing blog method (organization as art form), the blogger you know who loves all of her things and is trying to come to terms with near-hoarding, the fast-sewist, her counterpart the "evolved" sewist, the non-fashion blogger who tries to make sense, existentially, of the things she cannot part with for sentimental reasons. There's the growing-family-in-600 sq feet-in-NYC scenario. It goes on...

All of these have one thing in common: They dwell on clothing and what should be kept (on attractive wooden hangers) and what should be culled and how.

Look, I'm all for wooden hangers - which you can use even if your wardrobe is bursting at the seams. But I think the art form scenario (particularly) gets lost as it's conflated with style - not clothing-style, per se, but life style.

Mind you, I'd like to consider this from a slightly different angle - the angle I am reminded of whenever I read these posts (which I love, of course, in full disclosure).

Lots of people appear to be paralyzed in the act of opening the cupboard door. Lots of people keep buying and making the same things over and over again because they're not willing/able to see what's within. I sense a deep metaphor here, but I digress.

What's the fear?

Well, I can tell you mine:
  • Will bugs have eaten something precious? (This one's near and dear right now.)
  • Will that gorgeous thing I've loved and worn for years actually fit me this season?
I love organizing things. I'm not quite as quick as Andrea, for example, who can organize things in 3 minutes with the power of her mind (even crazy hoarder-shit), but I have my own way: It's called compulsive orderliness. I don't recommend it, but there's certainly an up side.

The reason I allowed two seasons to go buy without taking serious stock (which I always do - I'm a one-in, one-out kind of girl) is because I didn't want to address the changes in my landscape - interior and exterior. I was afraid of what I might find.

Oh, and I was right to be afraid. A ton of that stuff doesn't fit and a small subset had bug bites.

But, y'all know: there's nothing to fear but fear itself. The net result of my ripping everything apart (including the ever-burgeoning fabric and yarn stash, egad!) is this:
  • Everything smells gorgeous. That's what happens when you wash everything in cedar.
  • My creativity was stimulated. I upcycled fabric to make delightful sachets of lavender - see bullet above.
  • All of my beautiful garments are easily accessible on those wooden hangers.
  • They all fit beautifully.
  • They're all in perfect condition. 
  • They're entirely aligned with my emerging aesthetic (one based on my changing shape and new instincts - got to love evolution!)
I sense that there are many issues at play when it comes to culling the closet - but perhaps the most paralyzing is sentimentality. I am extremely fortunate (IMO) in that I can (mentally and actually) recycle everything. If I don't need it, it goes on the front walk and it's gone in minutes. I don't care if I spent 200 hours making that thing (unflattering suit, anyone?), if I don't want it, it's gone.

Mind you, one has to take the first step, opening the door and reviewing, and that's where I was stuck. In full disclosure, my wardrobe was not disastrously full on the basis of the space I have to keep things. I am very tidy by nature. I don't want to make this seem like I was in for the purge of the century, as many others likely should be. When it was time, I sucked it up. A moth helped to motivate me.

And yet I got rid of 40 items with nary a second thought. Better yet, I decided that there are certain things I'm never buying or making again (famous last words, I realize). There's a time and place for the plastic-coated leggings and I feel I'm not there anymore.

So, I'd like to know if you're afraid of your clothes. And, if yes, why? Please, do let me know! It will enrich our organization post-reading all the more.

28 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, what a good post!!!! I'm rediculously senitmental about clothing... clothing I made but haven't worn in years, clothing I used to love 5 years ago, hell, even clothing I just LIKED 5 years ago! I hoard it all. My whole family does. My current method is to move less-worn clothes into a drawer or other cupboard, and then periodically revisit and purge. What I really need is someone who is one size smaller than me who really wants a cute wardrobe full of a-line skirts, woven tanks, and quilting cotton dresses! I could give those things away to a friend in a heartbeat, but it seems I just can't donate them to strangers. I've been thinking in the alst week that i really need to come up with some excuses to sew with (and thereby purge) my quilting cotton stash, which is full of beautiful quality prints that i brought home from japan and vintge cottons I scooped up second hand. I LOVE those fabrics, but they are taking up my valuable stash space! I think I'm going to use some to make crib sheets for a friend, and perhaps some more pillowcases for ourselves... I wonder how else I can use them up?
    I've got off topic, obviously... but in my heart, yes: I fear losing part of myself when I get rid of my clothes and fabrics. (OMG, I just almost teared up. THis is weird!) Those proud posts about culling are always written by people who feel liberated to shed layers - well, I just want to nest and cocoon forever!

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    1. Thanks G! I think the moving of the clothes from one location to another is a great idea. It shows how you can live without something, but it gives you time to come to terms with it. Cocooning is a very real need! Especially for Canadians :-)

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  2. Did you use a print or solid for your skater dress, and what type fabric did you use? I'm trying to make a fabric decision for it now.

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    1. I used striped T shirt fabric and it worked terrifically. Of course I had to pattern match, which I hate, and I was short on fabric. But it worked out really well.

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  3. I love lavender in everything. What a bummer that moths got in!

    Fresh slates are a bit psychologically addictive for me. I like change and constantly re-evaluate my surroundings, so culling was fun. I sometimes get paralyzed by options, but the older I get it seems that the more I focus more quickly on what can be done and what falls into the Life is Too Short category. I'm nowhere near the sentimental keeper I used to be. I really loved the Wardrobe Architect series, and it seemed to come at an interesting moment for a lot of bloggers. Maybe some of is about reaching a sort of critical max in one's craft, both psychologically and in terms of *things* themselves, and then there's a need to refocus, redirect or just organize.

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    1. I only saw one moth and there were 5 eaten garments, but my house is 125 years old. It's impossible to stay bug free all the time!

      I think the Wardrobe Architect series has helped a lot of people to clarify their style as it relates to their wardrobe. From that perspective it's very interesting!

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  4. I fall into the "fear it won't fit" and the "fear of bugs" categories as well. I've actually quite using wool entirely, as I'm forced to face up to the fact that our very old house will never be without carpet beetles entirely. I have gotten rid of a lot of my handmades this year, but I had to tell my husband to take them away when I wasn't there. I think I need some wooden hangers...

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    1. Old houses man. I know what you mean! Def, go buy wooden hangers! They never go out of style.

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  5. I'm definitely sentimental. Even if I'm willing to cull it takes forever as I revisit all my memories of the garment in question before it goes in the Goodwill bag.
    And I have been known to get emotional when clothes don't fit. I blame the prednisone - no matter how long it's been since I last took any. :)
    I got so upset about a pair of custom fit Levis not fitting (remember when they did that?) that I hid them somewhere in our first apartment. Never did find them...

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    1. Hey, I've got to start blaming the Prednisone - though I was only on it for 2 months, 2 years ago! And I do remember those custom fit Levis...

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  6. wait, how do you "wash things in cedar"? Sounds like just the ticket for my war on moths......

    Ceci

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    1. Hey Ceci: I hand washed the items in question in scent-free soak and added cedar essential oil (purchased at the health food store). Make sure you get the pure essential oil. You don't want something artificial.

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  7. Great post! I am just back from 2.5 wks away and the seasons changed while I was gone. So, today is my day to switch over my wardrobe from cool to warm weather which is when I cull. I'm pretty merciless/fearless in my culling - the only thing I can't seem to get rid of is anything I've sewn. I have a small stack of me-mades I'm going to offer to my sister and, well, the rest will probably sit in the maybe pile for a few more seasons until I resolve to toss them. I try to donate/recycle everything.

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    1. Thanks! I'm strangely non-plussed by getting rid of the things I've made myself. I figure, I can always make it again (if I want to) and I'll probably do a better job the next time (in which case it won't go into the lawn pile).

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  8. I'm with Gillian on this one. Sentimental and HATE throwing away clothing that I have loved at some point! Getting rid of me-mades that I don't wear, however is not a problem at all! This post had me tackling my wardrobe yesterday to start the long overdue purge. I have no storage space for what I own so it was time. I tried to be ruthless in my selections and I did better than usual! Sadly, I still have some items that I know I should get rid of but couldn't quite bring myself to do it!

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    1. You know what, you don't have to change your ways entirely overnight (or ever). Beginning the process and doing pretty well is excellent! A little bit at a time adds up.

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  9. I'm not at all afraid of my closet - a large walk-in closet which makes storing my (large) wardrobe easy. I tend to clear my clothes out at least 2x a year (when I switch out for the seasons). I tend to keep outfits made by my mother (fancy dress/wedding), but if it doesn't fit or I don't wear it, it gets sent to Goodwill. I am less bloody-mined about shoes.

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    1. Oh, I want your large walk-in closet Susan! Does it have a fancy shoe-rack???

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  10. I've never had problems giving away things I've made, although I do sometimes wonder, usually significantly later. But that is just some kind of itinerant sentimentality. I moved too many things here, and am just now sorting through them, and actually fairly slowly at that, right now just sorting through for fit and the broadest strokes of color and style. I think then that the next stage, the is this what I want to wear, part will come more easily. Actually, it all feels better than avoiding the closet.

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    1. I agree - avoidance NEVER works. I don't know why everyone thinks it does.

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  11. I have a few things in my closet that I refuse to give up--they haven't fit me since high school/early college, but I still can't let them go. One of those things in my cheer outfit...I didn't care for cheerleading and was never comfortable in the skirt (I've always been a pants/jeans girl, I figure it's because I was raised in large part by my dad and his male buddies--if you're in the oilfield, a wheat field, or chasing cattle on horseback, there's no room for a dress!), but for some reason I don't let it go. The other three are shirts--one I have a lot of good memories in, one is that perfect shade of red (with a cheetah print, natch) that made my boobs look *amazing* (even when I didn't hardly have any) and could probably be copied with the new Nettie pattern (assuming I could find the right print), and the other I want to find some of that *exact* fabric. I love the print, the soft, smooth, squidginess of it, everything about it is perfect. All of those are RTW, so it's not even that I spent hours making them. Other than those, I'm not afraid to cull anything from my closet and regularly do. I've contemplated cutting a couple of scraps from my perfect fabric and seeing if Spoonflower or By Hand London could print the design on that kind of fabric (whatever it is), I just haven't done it yet.

    But yeah, I'm more likely to hoard something if the fabric is particularly appealing, and I have some fabric in my stash that I'm scared to cut into because I'm afraid I'll ruin it and not be able to find something equal to it. Prints I like are too hard to come by, I guess.

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    1. I don't sense the issue is in the small number of objects for which we have nostalgia, but in the broader "sentimentality as justification for hoarding" mentality. Part of it is, I suspect, that we have access to too many things.

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  12. Oh man, I've had "go through closet" on my to-do list for... maybe a year? I'm not super sentimental about clothes, although I do have a few old things that I keep even though I'll never wear them again. The problem is that I'm not a very organized person and I get really overwhelmed by big projects, so it's really hard for me to work up the nerve to attack the closet and really go through it. But I need to so badly- I've got really limited space and my drawers are stuffed so full that they're really hard to open and close! The idea of an organized, tidy, cedar-scented wardrobe is so far from my reality, but it sounds amazing!

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    1. It's not far from your reality! It's only far from your mentality! I promise you can take it very slowly. Like a turtle. And in the end you will have a space that works for you much better. Open one drawer and deal with it.

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  13. Great post. I think a lot of our struggles to purge or sort come from an emotional place.
    From a clothing perspective, I think I'm pretty good at getting rid of clothing. I have a harder time actually with gifts that maybe were not the best choice for me, like I'm still waiting to figure out how to wear it. In theory, these should be easy to part with because I don't love them, but something about being a gift makes it more challenging. Me-made is also hard to part with in a way, more so if it wasn't well done (or not quite finished) and I'm a bit unsure if anyone should get my mistakes.
    It's stuff I have a harder time with. Like I should be able to find a use, or would anyone else even WANT it if I did put it out for donation. And yet I don't want to keep it myself... this is why I've been trying to move for 9 months.

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    1. I totally agree that the challenge is emotional, 90 per cent of the time. And it's interesting that the gifts are what you find impossible to recycle. I understand where you're coming from.

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  14. Great post! I am completely ruthless with clothes, books, music.... but not shoes and no way my stash. I don't have a large house and in my perfect (dream) life, I would perpetually live out of a suitcase. So being ruthless is a necessity. And, no, my clothes do not always hang on pretty wooden hangers. If I spend 180 hours on a garment or $$$/yd on fabric and it doesn't work, I chalk it up to a learning experience and walk away. My DH, however, has chided me for not finishing garments completely prior to trashing them, as he thinks (and I'm starting to agree) that I may as well finish them properly and give them to the SallyAnn for someone else to wear. And thanks for answering the question about cedar-smelling clothes, because I LOVE cedar. If all my closets and dressers were cedar-lined, I'd be in heaven. Going shopping for essential oil.....

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    1. I've been chided for chucking the unfinished projects instead of finishing them for the benefit of someone else. But sometimes, I just don't have it in me - when I know the thing's a failure. Hope you enjoy your new cedar-closet :-)

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